Friday, 6 February 2009

New Button denial

Last weekend I was busy. I decided that as we now have approximately two months to go, it was time to try to start mentally preparing by giving myself a jolt, forcing myself to believe that there is another baby on the way.

I dug out all of Betty’s tiny baby clothes and began sorting them into piles by age. I bagged them all up (while Betty busied herself mixing up my piles) and labelled each bag carefully: ‘Newborn’ ‘0-3 months’ ‘3-6 months’ etc, and placed the newborn pile in the laundry basket. I ordered a new gliding crib, which I (perhaps naively) think is the answer to a crying baby in the middle of the night and wish I’d had one for Betty. I bought a hammock style baby-sling in a lovely vibrant red, which I strutted round the house in for a bit, and flicked through the baby names book I found in a cupboard. I began knitting a stripy hat, and I bought a Sudoku book (which is something I became obsessed with during my pregnancy with Betty).

However, by Sunday evening I felt like a fraudster and a fantasist. Rather than feeling like an expectant mum it was like I was playing one of Betty’s baby role-play games and sorting everything out for a new doll. Even though I am regularly getting some pretty hefty kicks in the stomach, I am usually so busy with Betty that I do not take much notice and subconsciously put it down to indigestion problems or something.

Even though I feel so unbelievably broody, and excited about the new baby, I can’t seem to believe that it is true for the majority of the time. It is only at night when I go to bed and all is tranquil and silent in the Button household (after I have scoffed a bar of Galaxy, tried to conquer yet another Sudoku puzzle and knitted a few rows), I drink a glass of cold water very fast (to wake the baby up) and then lie back with my hands on my stomach and have those special moments with my new baby.

10 comments:

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

I remember it well, the feeling of denial. I think maybe I still am in denial 3 years later!

Iota said...

Don't those little newborn sleepsuits look TINY when you get them out?

IRENE said...

Dear Elsie,
I do not think there is anything wrong with role playing. Aren't we all role playing during the day? I was role playing with my kids and I still am. If you leave me to my insticts I'll sit don and play Barbie, which I very much regret not doing when they were younger. Now that our daughters are 12 and 14 I find them hard to persuade into playing Barbie with mommy.
So, back into the question of the new baby, I'd sy sit back and relax. Unless you have a history of a large family or intend to form ome (and I speak 4 plus), how many times do you think you're going to sort through baby clothes and pretend? Why are we humans and especially women, are so afraid to embrace our dreams and fantasies of "playing mum" when they do become a reality?
I'd say play with all your heart, dear friend.
And n the evening, close your eyes and feel that little gift you're carrying, because in you lies the secret of all Creation.
Blowing kisses your way,
Irene

More than a Mother said...

Enjoy your role playing and indulge in it, before baby Button arrives and you realise just how different life is, when 3 become 4!

Louise said...

A beautiful post.(In fact, it was so lovely that it even made me feel broody for another baby but the feeling quickly passed!!!) I cannot imagine life with 2 children to run after but I'm sure that you will be perfect at it and make it sound lots of fun.

Coding Mamma (Tasha) said...

I found R felt much more real when we gave her a name (we found out that she was a girl at the 20-week scan). But then with no.2 I can see how you wouldn't have time to stop and think about it. It will all be real soon enough, though.

Sparx said...

Oh, I'nm SOOOOOOOo envious... I remember being in terrible, terrible denial when I was pregnant and I'm sure it'd be the same this time around. I'm looking forward for the first new baby post I can tell you that. Suddenly it'll all be real!

Livvy U. said...

I haven't visited for a while - and am delighted to discover your news. Congratulations, Elsie, on the next little button x

Suffolkmum said...

Hey Elsie I've just looked in too and see that Livvy has just spoken my words! I disappeared for a while but am tiptoing back to blogland. Am delighted to hear your lovely news. x

Metropolitan Mum said...

Congratulations!! And thanks a lot for this beautiful blog, which I just discovered. They have been so right to offer you a book deal.