Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Small steps

On New Year's Day, I sat in Pizza Express with Tom, Betty and Dolly finishing my final mouthful of pizza and announced to Tom that I was going to get back to a size 10 in 2011 (an ambitious statement). I wanted to go straight to the shops and buy an exercise bike after we'd eaten . As I ate my way through an enormous portion of Tiramasu, I felt guilt-free, knowing that my diet was going to start just as soon as we left the restaurant, and that the blood-type diet (recommended by my very skinny sister) and an exercise bike were going to solve all my weight problems.

So with the bike assembled and proudly in-situ, I sat and stared at it in wonder and awe: 'Wow my very own excercise bike, why didn't I ever think of getting one before?'  I then got to work and began to research on the Internet exactly what this blood type diet was all about. At first I was horrified to discover that being Blood Group O, foods such as bread, cereal, dairy, eggs, citrus fruits, and bacon, were all forbidden.  Having worked out that I could eat mackerel and kale for lunch and supper every day, I was genuinely baffled about what I could possibly eat for breakfast, other than wine and chocolate, both of which are allowed in this diet.  I discovered that a slice of bread is around 100 calories and an After Eight chocolate is only 35, which meant I could eat three of them for my breakfast, instead of my usual toast, which was now forbidden anyway.

Satisfied with what I could and could not eat, I stepped onto the bike, which I cunningly placed in front of a window, and began pedalling.  As I sweated and puffed my way through 4 miles, while gazing out of the window and imagining myself gleefully cycling through fields and woods, I became a little bit obsessed with the calorie counter. I worked out that having burnt off 200 calories I could legitimately go and eat a further two breakfasts (aka six After Eights), and so I did just that.

At the same time as buying the bike I also bought an Abs Roller.  I thought that for someone like me, who cannot normally do even one sit-up, this artificial aid would be the answer.  Betty's frustration at seeing me lying on this contraption, huffing and puffing and failing to lift myself off the floor by even one inch was very obvious, and she marched over to me, pulled me up with the bar that goes across, really aggressively and fast, and when I was obviously completely done in and out of breath she said 'Come on Mummy five more then we'll stop'.  My stomach, neck and back are now in agony.

And speaking of Betty giving me a complex, the yoga dvd that I was given for Christmas is a big hit with her. She insists on putting it on every evening before bed, and effortlessly and bendily carries out all the routines, while I sit on the sofa with a glass of wine, visualising a size 10 me, and watch her.

14 comments:

Beadzoid said...

Haha, brilliant! A woman after my own heart. THe After Eight breakfast diet is one I religiously follow everytime theres a BOGOF offer in the Co-Op.

Instead of torturing yourself with carb-free plans and yoga routines Houdini would struggle with you should simply have a meal at the cheap local eaterie which even students won't touch with a barge pole and watch the pounds drop off. Warning though, make sure you've got 24 hours or so alone-time (ha) where you can happily camp out in the bathroom.

I jest of course, but this is actually the way my final baby pounds came off. Bleughh. :S

Louisa said...

Good luck with the diet - it sounds great and I bet After Eights are on sale somewhere so you can go and stock up! :)

Shiny said...

Perhaps you could even make a fortune if you market your After Eights Diet - you could write the book, you (Betty) could do the video... the options are endless. And I'd be first in the queue to buy it. Happy 2011 x

Shiny said...

Oh... and... maybe After Eights would sponsor you too!

Beccers said...

haha.. poor you! I'm not sure you're meant to eat after eights for breakfast... the clue's in the name. Unless the name means only stop after eight (chocs)?

sew hot said...

It is worth it, start and stick with the diet. After the first two weeks, it is easier. I did my weight loss commitment at the encouragement of a friend in H2o aerobics. I've lost 60 lbs. and I'm signing up again to get the last 20 off. Just conquer it one day at a time and if you fall off the wagon just get back on. :)

Sparx said...

Go for it; I'm on another diet having lost 2 stone a year and a half ago. I put on half a stone in the last 3 months following a boozy, cake-filled stay with my parents and, of course, Christmas. I go on a really drastic very-low-calorie diet and stay under 900 calories a day; I designed the diet and had the doc check me out every couple of months and it's worked - once you're in the mind-set to lose weight and actually start to lose it, it's not hard; you just have to be obsessive about it...

I also use foodfocus.co.uk as it has a database of UK brands etc and you can enter everything you eat and see your calorie intake; helps to keep me focused....

@cambridgemummy said...

Loving it. Just found your blog for the first time. I am visualising myself as a size 14. (that's down from the size 18 I am at the moment). The one thing that worked for me was no carbs and no dairy. And I didn't do it perfectly, but I'm off to have another go...

Hope you keep us posted on your efforts / yoga dvd watching :)

Metropolitan Mum said...

Visualisation. It's the key. You are on the right track. (Although you might want to consider changing that diet...)

Helen@Soft Leather Baby Shoes said...

I like the idea of After Eights for breakfast! You are clearly giving your diet a lot of thought and, they do say, "Its the thought that counts"!

Anonymous said...

Hi, what DVD does your daughter have? I would like my boy to have one :)

Laid-back Mum said...

It's all about the visulisation! This is now my time to loose the baby weight (she is 6 months and just stopped breatsfeeding so unfortunately out of excuses!)I have started running with the buggy (more of a fast walk really) and it seems to be working. Also no carbs at lunchtime! good luck with it.

It's a Mummys Life said...

I have a real bike that I use to get me from waterloo to the office and those few miles every day makes a world of difference both physically and mentally. But I do love the idea of wine and chocolate for breakfast mind you!

Edie Mindell said...

Setting up a goal about getting fit is already a triumph.:-) Good luck with your plan, and you better stick to it.:-) I love that your daughter is taking her share of helping you. She's so sweet.:-)