Saturday, 4 August 2007

Breastpad farce

Tom’s friend popped over yesterday to tell us he is going to France for two weeks and would we keep an eye on his house and feed the cats. I was standing in the garden, happily chatting to him, and pretending I knew where Marseille was, when I happened to look down and there at my feet, lay a large bright white disc-shaped object. OH MY GOD - a breastpad, MY breastpad, which had obviously just fallen from ME. I didn't know what to do. I tried to keep him looking straight at me by talking about whatever came into my head, so that he wouldn't look down.

It worked for a while, although, by the look on his face, you would have thought I was reciting a train timetable backwards to him. His attention then waned and then the inevitable happened... he looked down, and clocked the breastpad. We both stared at it in silence for a while, and then he picked it up and handed it back to me! I took it, scrunched it up and put it into my pocket. At least I didn't try to put it back in my bra I suppose.

Later, still feeling mortified, Tom tried to make me feel better. He said: ‘Don't worry I doubt he even knew what it was... he probably thought it was a circular tissue or something.’ ‘Really?’ I said, hopefully. Then Tom started laughing uncontrollably and said it was the funniest thing he'd heard for a long time. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and so I quickly drank a pint of cider, whilst Tom went off to phone his friend.

13 comments:

Stay at home dad said...

I'm cringing as I write. What was he thinking? Probably that it was a skincare product or something, as Tom said; any other explanation is too weird. Good grief...

dulwichmum said...

Congratulations on your wonderful award. How very lovely and encouraging.

What an incredibly funny story, the sort that you must share - although obviously not in earshot of your poor landlord. It was incidences like this that convinced me to take up blogging. that completely merited the exclamation marks!!!

The Good Woman said...

Had a similar incident but with a tampon that went flying out of my handbag as I yanked out my car keys. The neighbour didn't immediately register what it was and stooped to pick it up before throwing it down again as he did. Still blushing!

DJ Kirkby said...

I expect that if your landlord knew what it was then he totaly sympathise with you as his wife would have had similar experiences.

jenny said...

hee hee
HEE HEE
HA HA HA
BWA HA HA HA!!!

*wiping tears from eyes* That was just toooooo funny! Thanks for sharing an embarassing moment!

Mwah!!

Pig in the Kitchen said...

ha ha ha! Did it have a yellowish crusty stain in the middle where you had leaked??? Oh what a lovely scenario! Don't worry, I once unwittingly hurled a tampon (still in wrapper) at my friend's dad's head...I had concealed it up my sleeve and as i chatted to him i made some wild gesticulating movement and it flew across the room and landed by his head (he was lying on the floor watching telly)...cringeing shame is good for the soul I'm sure of it!
Pigx

Ladybird said...

That was hilarious!!

Betty Button said...

Mum... you are sooo embarrassing

Elsie Button said...

Hi everyone, thanks for your comments and for sharing your embarrassing stories too - feel a little better!

Motheratlarge said...

Very funny indeed, Elsie! Agree with Tom - doubt your landlord knew what it was. Or if he did, he'd sympathise.
Did you have to endure nipple guards - those strange jelly-fish-like things? I found it hard to keep a hold of them. The critters kept trying to escape.
Anyway, circular tissues are all the thing nowadays.
Congrats also on your award!

Beccers said...

oh why did he pick it up?!

New Mum in Town said...

I reckon next time you see him you should don some marigolds and start cleaning the windows with one of the pads - that should confuse him!

Sparx said...

I think I would have casually moved forward to step on it... I once had one pop out into my cleavage, visible to all!!