Friday, 24 August 2007

Checkout chat-up

I was at the checkout in the supermarket with my weekly shop, throwing stuff into bags, and being a bit grumpy. The checkout boy was trying to chat to me throughout. “So, how are you doing today sweetheart?” he said. Feeling a bit flustered about being called ‘sweetheart’ by a boy less than half my age, I replied: ‘Fine’, while I clumsily tried to open another carrier bag. ‘Here, let me help you out with that darling,’ he said. While he was opening the bag for me, he then said: ‘So what are you up to tonight then sweetheart? Are you going down Night-Owls?’ This is a local nightclub for the under 18s. ‘My god, does this boy think I am the same age as him, or is he taking the piss?’ I thought. I could feel my face burning - I have no idea why, normally I can hold my own with teenagers. I think I was a little taken aback that I was seemingly being chatted up by a spotty faced, gangly boy, something I haven’t experienced for years. It certainly felt very odd, as I now have a Betty, and am a mum, and do mumsy things, and certainly don’t go to bloody Night-Owls.

I ignored his question and carried on packing, although at this point I was hastily throwing it all straight into the trolley. But the boy wasn’t giving up and asked me again: ‘What are you up to tonight?’

And so without taking any pauses whatsoever, I blurted: ‘I am cooking a huge roast chicken with all the trimmings and we are going to eat it at 5pm so that our baby daughter can join us and we can all eat together which will be the first time and so it is a very special occasion and it is a very significant step because she will be eating what we are eating which means she is growing up which is sad but also happy and she is such a wonderful baby and she is nine months old and I am a mum and I am married and I am 33 years old and we are all looking forward to our big roast chicken.’

The boy stared at me for a second, and then held up a pack of two tiny organic chicken breasts that he happened to be scanning at that moment, and said: ‘What? A huge roast chicken with this?’ Hats off, he was still persisting, even after that mental barrage of information I just gave him. ‘No, I have a whole chicken at home, actually,” I said. I could tell he didn’t believe me though, and he just smirked.

It was all true though. I did have a big chicken at home. We invited my mum and my brother round to share in the excitement of this special occasion, and we all ate together with Betty. We had champagne with our meal, to celebrate our little baby growing up, and me seemingly still looking like a 16 year old.

17 comments:

Lou said...

This has made me laugh so much! My chances of getting chatted up before motherhood was slim but now they are non-existent! Lucky You!!
Have a great bank holiday weekend!

Beccers said...

I can't believe after the barrage of information he still had the ability to question your story!

darth sardonic said...

i once told my wife that if i had known being a stay-home dad was such a chick-magnet, i woulda done it when i was single. while the purveyor of the message may not have been prime, shall we say, take it as a compliment, he thought you were hot. plain and simple. and while we don't in any way feel it, (believe you me, i get it, i surely do), apparently people still think it. so, as i like to say, no accounting for taste. lol.

Ladybird said...

Today's Crazy kids!

Jo Beaufoix said...

That was so funny.
I feel your pain.
But darth is right, you may not feel hot, but scary check out boy was certainly 'checking you out' (said in a Joey from Friends style).

Sorry,
That was too cheesy.

I'll go now.

Frog in the Field said...

That's very funny, sorry, but you made me laugh! It is awful when you get mistaken for being young and available, but a hell of a compliment too! Go back again next week and scare him to death by chatting him up...
Do you live in Hereford, they used to have a Saxtys.

Bel said...

You little hottie you!

;)

dulwichmum said...

Gosh Elsie,

I must be drunk! I commented on this the other day - I swear, and I can't find it now. I wonder what is going on, I think I have lost my mind. Basically, I am in envy of you, no-one ever chats me up, ever. Perhaps I frown too much, bring on the Botox!

Akelamalu said...

LOL that was so funny, and I love yesterdays missive re BINGO WINGS.

Thanks for dropping by my blog and taking the time to comment, I hope you'll call again. :)

PS My mum's name was Elsie.

Sparx said...

Take it at face value hon, well done you for looking so young! I think the checkout boys at my local supermarket think I'm the spud's grandma. The last time I got chatted up was by our local old mad man who walks sideways and mutters. He called me 'darlin' and told me I looked nice. He must be blind as well as mad!

DJ Kirkby said...

Lol! Bet you avoid his check out like the plague next time eh? Well done on making a huge celebration out of Betty's first grown up meal!

Stay at home dad said...

I'd take it as a compliment too. I don't think 16 year olds are very good at understanding new mums' vulnerability, but I'm sure his motives lay in the right place! Great idea on the meal.

Motheratlarge said...

Agree with SAHD - what a lovely idea about the family meal. Makes me wish we'd done the same for Beanie, when we had our first meal all three of us. Thanks for this posting - touches on something I've thought about a bit but never thought through, if that makes sense! I worry if men look at me or chat me up they're taking the piss, since I'm still a stone heavier than before having Beanie and don't really feel very attractive at all. Sounds like he really did fancy you!

Ladybird said...

Sparx's comment has had me laugh out loud.

lady macleod said...

LOL I know you must have been flustered but so funny. congratulations to Betty! How did she like the champagne?

Elsie Button said...

Hi everyone, thanks for all your lovely/funny comments - was nice to come back to - have been out of action for a while (ill).

georgie said...

I've just read this post and laughed out loud at your response to the checkout boy. Call me grumpy but I hate being chatted to when I'm rushing at the supermarket so I sympathise and sometimes they ask such direct questions!

Loving the blog by the way - I'm a new reader!:)