Monday, 21 September 2009

Potty exemption

We have been trying to get Betty out of nappies for quite some time now. I feel that Tom and I have tried everything. And nothing works. It’s not that she doesn’t know what to do because every time we visit my grandmother she performs beautifully.

Every time I go to the loo she insists on coming with me (which is all good because I am hoping that this will encourage her) and she helpfully talks me through each step. Once I have finished she tells me that I am a good girl and that I can have a star on her potty chart.

Whenever Betty’s little chums come over to play and either use their potty in front of her or take themselves off to the loo, she tells them: ‘Well done, you are very clever’. She even keeps asking them if they need a wee and reminds them that they mustn’t wet themselves.

She has pretty little pants desperate to be worn, and she will often talk fondly about them being folded up neatly in her draw. But if you suggest that she actually wears them she very matter-of-factly says ‘No mummy’.

The little lady seems to think that she is exempt from this whole potty training malarkey.

12 comments:

Iota said...

Incentive. That's the key. They have to WANT to do it.

How about a smartie every time she does it? But if you've tried everything, you've probably tried that.

If there's one thing I've learnt about potty training, through my hopelessly inadequate and truly agonising 3 attempts, it is this: the more they know you want them to do it, the less likely they are to. The trouble is, once they've sussed it, they will also see through any of your feeble attempts to claw back to a position where you pretend that it really isn't a big deal at all.

You're probably best off just forgetting about it for a few weeks.

Maternal Tales said...

Oh sweetie - I know JUST how you feel - have totally been through the same thing (even wrote a post about it too - see below - not particularly for post, but for lots of helpful comments after) - http://emilybassin.blogspot.com/2009/04/shes-just-not-ready.html
She is now potty trained and in the end I didn't do anything special - she just kind of got it one day - it totally surprised me! But have a read of the comments - there's plenty more things for you to try I'm sure. Good luck sweetie. You'll get there in the end xx

Paradise Lost In Translation said...

, brings me out in a cold sweat just remembering. My husband used chocolate bribes, completely undermining my start charts & good intentions etc. What made it worse (in a way) was it worked, bingo just like that. Grrrrrrr! However he hasn't managed to come up with a solution for our daughter who, aged 5 1/2 almost, is STILL in nappies at night. Nothing has worked here, So I just keep forking out for more...

Paradise Lost In Translation said...

oops, I meant STAR charts. Of course...

solveig said...

I don't know if this is any help but the best piece of advice I had about potty training was that, once they've got the idea of what the potty is for and how to use it, that it is actually quite confusing for a child to be told to use the potty at home but then be put in nappies when you go out anywhere (which is what I was doing). I was told just to say 'okay, there's no more nappies now. You wear knickers and use the toilet when you need a wee'. It did actually work quite well.

Still can't get her out of nappies at night though...

Elsie Button said...

thanks so much for your helpful suggestions. i feel that she playing mind games with me. my friend and her little boy came over today. my friend asked betty if she wanted to use the potty and she said yes so off they went and she did a wee but said to my friend 'don't show mummy'. what a monkey! having said that, she did actually do a poo and wee for me on the potty later on. and she is wearing pants as i speak. have just had one accident but fingers crossed eh. I feel my problem is patience. i need to keep a sweet smile on my face and count to 10. thanks again x

Crystal Jigsaw said...

My puppies are exempt too, I think they should join forces!

It's very strange because just as your comment came through on my blog I was thinking about you. I was reading another blog (Domestic Goddesque) which reminded me of your blog. Spooky....!!

CJ xx

p.s. the word verification on this comment is "peedex"

Louise said...

You won't believe how reassuring ths post is. Anna is NOT getting it at all. She, like Betty, knows exactly what the potty is for and can talk me through the steps. She even takes her toy dog, Kipper, for a wee but from Anna, NOTHING!!!! We have tried everything from stickers to chocolate (Yes, all principles flew out of the window!). She has 3different designs of potty and I have every manuel ever written on the subject. Nothing works! Anna is so stubborn that she wants to do it in her time and the more I push, the more stubborn she becomes! If I do put her in pants, she holds her wee in until it gets too painful and then she starts doing the highland jig and screaming. She refuses to sit on the potty and I can't bear to see her in pain so put her back in nappies and then the wee flows. In fact, she held it in for 4 and a half hours the other day to the point where she just couldn't do anything!! At this point, I have given up.

More than Just a Mother said...

Good luck with it, but do try not to stress about it. My nearly 3 year old was dry after the first day of potty training, but never mastered poos. About three weeks after we started training he told me he wanted to wear nappies again. I didn't argue - just put the pants away and went with the flow. I'm hoping at some stage he'll ask to have them back!

Iota said...

"went with the flow" ha ha, MTJAM.

sew hot said...

nothing like some pee running down the leg and some poo on their favorite pants to make them change their behavior. they have to clean their own mess! But hang onto your sanity(or what is left of it). She won't want nappies when she goes on her first date.

sew hot said...

the thing that got my last granddaughter trained was... she only wanted to wear dresses. So the punishment was...if she had an accident she had to wear pants or shorts. IT WORKED!