Thursday, 21 November 2013

Things I hate about Christmas

a depressing Christmas scene
I am listing below my grievances related to the ever-expanding festive period:
  • Mince pies being sold in September, with a best before date of 25th October (two whole months before the big day itself).
  • People who buy mince pies in September, eat them, and remark on how festive they are feeling.
  • Shop-bought nativity costumes - tea towels, old sheets, tinsel, and dressing gowns are what nativities are all about, not spending a small fortune on an elaborate sheep costume in Sainsbury's.
  • Fake Santas - I have never seen a convincing Santa in a grotto. So when your child meets a skinny man (sometimes woman) dressed in red and wearing trainers, with no charisma, a blonde ponytail sticking out from under a cheap synthetic wig, who then hands them a crap present (which you've paid £5 for), it makes them ask a lot of questions, and completely shatters the magic.
  • Christmas cards - writing and sending cards is both time consuming and expensive. If you want to write a heartfelt festive letter (or email) to dear friends and family telling them of your news, then that's lovely. But merely scrawling your name on a tasteless M&S card and sending it to someone that you see every day, or haven't seen for thirty years come to that, just for the sake of it, is totally pointless. I realise I now won't receive any Christmas cards this year and I'll have to buy a load to send to myself from imaginary people otherwise my house will look bare and people will ask awkward questions.
  • Unwanted presents - my house is already filled to the brim with crap that I don't know what to do with, so I would really prefer not to add to it. So please think before you buy me that mini food processor (intended for a family of one) - will I actually find a use for it? Or will it kick around in the back of the cupboard, taking up valuable space while housing a few mice, before I feel an acceptable period of time has passed when I can cart it off to the charity shop?
  • The giant inflatable Father Christmas that pops up outside the garden centre on the way into Hereford, in mid October. Every time we drive past it, it has either deflated and lies in an ugly, muddy, depressing heap on the ground, or the looming monstrosity gets the children really excited because they think Christmas is just around the corner.
  • Christmas trees that start appearing in the windows of houses in November - I genuinely don't understand how the owners don't get sick of the sight of them - all those baubles, and gaudy tinsel.
  • And even worse, Christmas trees that are still up in February.
  • Receiving emails that are signed off with 'Wishing you a very happy Christmas' from the beginning of November.
  • Christmas shoppers in the January sales.
  • The question 'What are you doing for Christmas?' asked in July.
  • Feeling obliged to put on two stone.

I might sound like a miserable old cow, but these things really get me down. I absolutely LOVE Christmas. I love taking the kids to the nativity service in Hereford cathedral on Christmas Eve, marvelling at the Christmas lights on Regent Street, buying them little stocking fillers that I know will make them chortle, making the Christmas pudding and sipping on mulled wine, seeing the kids with tea towels strapped to their heads, watching their little faces as they discover the presents under the tree, making decorations, eating pigs in blankets, singing carols around the piano, lighting the advent candle, leaving Father Christmas a glass of sherry and a satsuma, and playing with new toys and games. But for us, none of this takes place until we are well and truly into December.

So I really resent the fact that all around us, Christmas now seems to take up 25% of the entire year. Apart from anything else it gets in the way of my Easter preparations, which I like to begin in August.

Photo source: flickr/Po'Jay

12 comments:

Mostly Yummy said...

This! A thousand times this!

Elsie Button said...

Mostly Yummy :) By the way, have been trying to leave a comment on your blog but it won't let me?! Xx

Metropolitan Mum said...

Someone is in a very festive mood. Mince pie, Elsie?
;-) Dxx
PS: 1st of December. That's when Christmas is allowed to creep up on us.

Elsie Button said...

MM, 1st Dec is fine - any time before that is wrong!!! Fancy a mince pie in costa, while drooling over Mr Stewart (in my case), some time soon? Xxx

Studio Kaufmann said...

I hear you. I live in Baltimore USA and there are already nutters camped out in tents outside stores ready for 'Black Friday Sale' next Friday where people have even been trampled to death. Madness!!! I could murder a mince pie can't get any here will have to bake me own.

Elsie Button said...

Crikey, sounds crazy!

Homemade mince pies are much nicer anyway :)

Sadie said...

don't read my blog today then!

I'm actually with you on so many of these things. Especially Christmas cards. I don't buy them any more. Since having the girl, I've always made ours. I get a good pic of her with a bit of tinsel on her head, print it out, then attach on the front of a card (glitter around it of course), and send it to family. That way they get an up to date pic, and I haven't wasted a fortune on utter tat.

I like to get organised for Christmas early, getting pressies bought and stashed, but I don't decorate until the start of December. Only exception to this is the outdoor lights. I get them up start of November while it's still not too cold. Apparently some of my delightful neighbours take the p**s out of me on FB for doing so, it's all 'oh she's got her lights up already, ha ha ha'. Yes, but they're not on yet you dimwits! These are the neighbours that have never spoken to me of course. I'm not on FB, someone who is told me about it. Still. I laugh at them trying to get lights up when it's snowing outside.

I have a November purge of the house, all ready for Christmas. try to get rid of most of the junk before a whole load more comes through the doors!

Just to make you laugh, I can share with you that yesterday I bought a teeny Christmas pud for one and scoffed it. No one but me eats them and I fancied one. Didn't make me feel festive, but it did make me feel fat and greedy when I saw how many calories I'd just shovelled in!

x

Elsie Button said...

Sadie, you are hilarious!! I love Christmas puddings too....

Fingers up to the grumpy neighbours :)

Wish I could be as organised as you... I just wouldn't know where to start with the de-cluttering!

Photo glittery cards are perfect. I do this but save myself the postage and email it instead!

Right... Now off to read your post :)) x

Iota said...

Yes!

Elsie Button said...

Iota :)

Marianne said...

Such a relief at the end to find that you do really love Christmas but I do agree with you about the over-commercialisation etc. The only way to cope is to totally ignore it until stir-up Sunday and then go for it with a passion! Enjoy your kids - this is such a special time for you all. Treasure it all x

Elsie Button said...

Hi Marianne, thank you! You are right, and I do my very best to ignore it - I love advent! xx