Wednesday, 13 July 2011

New lady friend

We Buttons had to drive into central London last week, for a function which was being held near Tottenham Court Road.  To help us negotiate the busy roads (Tom had forgotten the A-Z), we had an additional passenger in the car with us - a calm lady with a deep soothing voice, a lady completely unfazed by my children's backseat antics, and Tom's blatant rudeness and hostility towards her.

After a long journey on the M40, with the help of the lady, we effortlessly cruised down Marylebone Road, and Tom began warming slightly towards her, and commented that perhaps she was quite useful after all.  It was at this point that Betty declared that she did not like the lady's silly voice.  I defensively told Betty that this lady was about to single-handedly revolutionalise our experience of driving through a city.  In protest, Betty talked over the lady whenever she tried to direct us. 

When Tom misheard direction from the lady, mainly thanks to Betty, I could almost sense the lady inwardly tutting, as she announced for the third time in three minutes: 'Please do a U-turn at the next junction'.  'I am not doing a bloody U-turn on Marylebone Road, it is dangerous, and it is illegal,' Tom told the lady.  But it was when she coolly told us yet again to go the wrong way down a oneway street that Tom began shouting, and demanded that she get out of the car.  'Why are you shouting Daddy?' Dolly asked him.  'I don't like this ridiculous lady,' he replied.  'She is a funny lady,' Dolly said.

I think the lady could sense the tension in the car, and began to sound a bit exasperated herself, as she announced for about the 56th time that she was 're-routing' us.

Just as we were literally a minute from our destination, Tom and the lady had yet another argument, so begrudgingly, and at Tom's insistance, I muted her.  We then drove round and round without her, and eventually parked up, and walked for about half an hour to our destination.

12 comments:

nappy valley girl said...

Haha. Love the u-turn on Marylebone Rd scenario - I can just imagine!

We don't have one of those ladies - instead, we have me reading the map and an iPad traffic app. It usually works. But there are rows, too.....

Elsie Button said...

Hi nappy valley, yes, i think man and woman in car will always equal rows (however calm the woman is!)

I think good old fashioned maps are the best tho!

I'm So Fancy said...

I like to change the language. Makes it more exciting to get somewhere with advice laid out in Arabic or something...

Elsie Button said...

Hi Fancy, the friends we were staying with in London - that's exactly what they said - mad! Tom and I could not follow it in english let alone anything else

sew hot said...

Sounds like a quick hop onto the Tube would be the answer.

Elsie Button said...

Hi sew hot, the half an hour walk was the least stressful part of the whole journey - getting on a tube at that stage in the game would have finished us off!

sew hot said...

So is this new lady friend or foe? I was just curious about the tube, we were there visiting in May and June and lived getting around on the tube when in London, in your opinion better or worse than driving in?

Elsie Button said...

Hi sew hot, i think because we had travelled a long way (4 hours from where we live) for us it was the easiest option just to drive straight into london and try to park near where we needed to go. And after that long journey, then getting on the tube with two small tired children with pushchair and bags etc it was not the easy option - walking felt far more appealing. But when living in london, the tube was always the preferred option - i would never drive from where i lived in london and tackle central london by car.... x

Iota said...

We sometimes get the lady to speak to us in Vietnamese, or German, or Czech, just for fun. Cos we're young and crazy. Obviously.

Nora said...

Do you think men have trouble listening to a lady telling them where to go?

Elsie Button said...

Hi iota do you manage to follow the directions in those languages? We can't manage to follow them in english!

Elsie Button said...

Hi Nora ha ha could be something in that :)