Wednesday, 22 July 2009

The first three months

The differences between your first and your second baby …

• When baby no.1 only pooed once a week until she went onto solids, you stressed and agonised over it and wondered what on earth could be wrong. You made several trips to the doctor with your otherwise happy baby, and tried every laxative trick under the sun. When baby no.2 seems to have exactly the same digestive system as baby no.1, instead of freaking out, you are grateful that you only have to deal with one dirty nappy on a weekly basis.

• After the birth of your first baby you tried desperately to shed the excess weight and be a yummy mummy, but after baby no.2 arrived you have given up caring and are too stressed/knackered/busy to worry about the fact that you eat at least two big bars of Galaxy a day and are two stone heavier.

• Having gone through two and a half years with baby no.1, and come across many a competitive parent, you realise that it is not cool and is perhaps a little insensitive (if not bloody annoying) to shout from the rooftops about how your baby sleeps through the night/eats broccoli etc. Therefore, with the second baby you learn to keep schtum and play it down, specially when asked directly by parent friends who haven’t slept for seven years.

• When friends ask how you have managed to get both babies sleeping relatively well from a young age, where with baby no.1 you naively and gaily told them about the wonder that is Gina Ford, whist thrusting her book into their hands - this time you do not admit to even knowing who Gina Ford is, let alone the whole controlled crying regime.

• When the new baby grumbles/cries you often don’t even notice/hear it. Whereas if baby no.1 so much as made a whimper you thought she must be sickening for something and would race her off to the doctors.

• All the little baby-gros and vests that were kept sparkling white for the duration the first time round (ie. they were washed at 90 degrees and only with other whites), are now all sorts of different shades of grey/blue/pink.

• The video footage of baby no.1’s sleep highlights from the first three months goes on for an agonising hour. The video camera has not yet made it out of the cupboard this time round (battery needs charging or something).

• Where you spent hours dutifully winding baby no.1 after a feed, things become a little slack the second time round and you figure that your youngest can probably burp unaided if needs be.

• Where with baby no.1 you did everything in your power to make sure that she reached every milestone (ie. holding/following an object, rolling over etc.) at the correct age (according to your baby book), this time you have absolutely no idea/can’t remember when they are supposed to be doing what, nor do you care or have time to fixate about it.

• With baby no.1 the first three months felt like three years. With baby no.2 three months feels like three seconds.


solveig said...

This is all so true! I remember shortly after Freyja had been born, seeing a friend of mine who had just had her second child. I was horrified when she left the second baby crying in his pram for all of about 2 minutes before she tended to him. Second time round, I realise it probably took her that long to even notice the crying!

S x

Iota said...

Now, here's a question.

Which do you think is the better experience from the baby's point of view?

Potty Mummy said...

Iota is spot on, as usual. Boy #2 was (note the 'was' pre terrible 3's) a far calmer and more relaxed baby than his older brother. I wonder why...?

Grit said...

i certainly experienced some of this despite the offspring being 1 minute apart.

Penelope said...

Perhaps I should get cracking with the making of baby no 2 then?

san said...

They always say you should have your second baby first. Whoever 'they' are?!
It's true you're much more relaxed with number two. They will never have your undivided attention all day everyday like number one had. They learn to play on their own. I'm feeling sorry for my number two now!!
My number two is nearly 11 months, it has gone by in a flash.
There may be something in this birth order stuff. I'm off to Amazon to look for a book!

A Confused Take That Fan said...

YOu are so right! What do you think happens when you get to baby number 3??

sew hot said...

Baby number 3! that is a tough one. You're out numbered and they seem to know it. House cleaning is an idea rather than something you do, there is no time. Picking up throughout the day...once before bed if you are lucky! After that adjustment, #4 was a breeze.
My advice is to hang on for the ride and enjoy every minute. Before you know it you'll be pushing them out the door for college!

Anonymous said...

Gosh yes, I once left a toddler group with only two of my children, and had to pretend I was just doing a sort of baby-relay race when I came back for her. Poor thing.