Bed swap

'It's not right that you don't let a poor child sleep in their mother's bed,' was Betty's response, when I told her she couldn't sleep in my bed for the fourth night running. I say 'my' bed, but by rights, it is Tom's bed as well, although he often gets put in a small child's bed with just a one-legged Barbie and a Lego dog to keep him company.

Betty and Dolly generally sleep with me if they are unwell, and unlike many of my friends, I love the excuse to snuggle up to them. On this occasion however, I could sense Tom's slight annoyance at the prospect of yet another night with Barbie, particularly as there was now nothing wrong with Betty to warrant another night in the marital bed.

I challenged Betty and asked her why she didn't want to go back to her bed now that she was better. She told me that her bed was a bit 'stinky'. Initially I blamed Tom. But on further investigation, to my horror I realised that she had been sneaking all sorts of foodstuffs up to her room, eating them in her bed, and then shoving the wrappers, crumbs, half eaten biscuits, and crusts down between the bed and the wall. It was a disgusting sight. Thinking back, I do remember her muttering something about how much she had been enjoying her midnight feasts, which I ignored.

So, after I had removed and cleaned the mess, I decided to re-arrange their whole bedroom - maybe this is a ridiculous idea, but I pushed both their beds together to make one huge bed. Dolly was somewhat surprised to see her room in a different form when she emerged from the wardrobe, having bedded down in there for a nap, and Betty was positively thrilled when she got home from school: 'It's just like being in a hotel!' she squealed.

I read them the riot act at bedtime and told them no jumping, rolypolys or skydiving. 'Are we allowed to play I Spy?' Dolly asked.  So, after listening to a fraught game of I Spy through the monitor while trying to watch Eastenders, there followed blissful silence.  Tom breathed a sigh of relief.

However, at 3am, I woke up to find a sleeping Dolly next to me in my bed, and no sign of Tom...