My Aldi adventure

In a bid to cut back on our grocery bills, I decided to venture into Aldi, which sits right opposite the Sainsburys I have been going to for years.

I was so overcome with the ridiculously low prices, I ended up with a mountain of food that I did not need, or even want (sort of like what happens when I go to Ikea). So with my trolley laden with fifty different types of breakfast cereal, each box costing about 10p, fifty bars of chocolate, and fifty loaves of bread, I headed for the tills.

I quickly learned that at an Aldi till it is a very different experience to what you get at, say a Sainsbury's till.  You seriously have to have your wits about you. If you stop for even a millisecond, to scratch your nose, or indeed breathe, you get seriously scowled at by the cashiers, who I swear must be monitored on how fast they can scan food. And forget trying to pack your shopping into bags in any civilised manner.  Nope, if you are too slow, which I was, the cashier just hurls it into your trolley.  And not only do they scan fast, but they also talk fast too.  'Thatwillbe£12.49please'.  So despite the trauma of speedy scanning, the low bill more than made up for it.

I spent the next couple of weeks perfecting my till performance at Aldi by mentally preparing myself beforehand, bracing myself, and trying to be really really fast.  I couldn't have any distractions from kids slowing me down so on my second trip to the shop I had to leave them at home with Tom.  

I became a bit of an Aldi bore. Betty and Dolly were pretty surprised by some of the new 'treats' I was offering them but I didn't get any complaints. Also I made sure Tom was kept updated about prices. 'You see that packet of crisps you are eating? It cost 2p.' Or, 'Do you know, Aldi do the best chocolate in the whole entire world, and it only costs 4p per bar.' Tom wasn't convinced about any of it, and was not overly happy about my new found passion for Aldi.  He told me the bread was revolting, and that the mozzarella tasted weird.

Things came to a head on Tom's birthday. Normally I lay on a feast fit for a king to celebrate.  He didn't say anything because he is far too kind, but I could see his shoulders sink, and his eyes well up when I served up his birthday breakfast, lunch and supper, Aldi style. He looked like a broken man.

Sadly the Aldi honeymoon period is now over for me. While Aldi may be cheap, and certain things like their mini-magnum ice-creams, pitta bread, and salami may be perfectly ok, their fruit and veg is utterly tasteless, so much so that it is almost impossible to distinguish between their carrots, celery, green peppers and apples.

And although you can't buy a circular saw in the cake aisle at Sainsburys, at least you can get your bags packed neatly for you, and pass the time of day with a  cashier who is not on speed.